#Etienne ( mindset )
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Gambit, Mental Health & Trauma
(Prefacing this with this is my interpretation and analysis of Gambit as a character, past and current events. I've been a fan of roguegambit for over a decade- I love them both so much!!!!!)
Gambit is a character who has canonically experienced a lot of trauma- being abandoned by his parents, growing up on the streets, sold into slavery as a child, his first marriage failing, being exiled from his hometown, etc. (I could honestly go on for days.)
Yet, this is largely ignored by comic writers. In situations where his consent is violated, for example, it's brushed off as a silly haha, and he has no reaction to it whatsoever.
I think the reason his trauma is so unexplored is firstly, because he's a man, and secondly, a lot of these events happened in solo's written by men. Examples of this are Gambit (1999), when he was sold into slavery and Etienne died, as well as the Foxx storyline in X-Men (2004)- both were written by men.
Even in Astonishing X-Men (2017), after the Foxx storyline, Mystique claims -in a throwaway line- to have slept with Gambit presenting as twin sisters. His reaction is, "Wait, what? How?" and that's it. No one else in the group reacts, and it's never acknowledged again.
Personally, if I found out that the mother of my (ex-)partner, who sexually harassed me over an extended period of time in the past, had gone on to violate my consent in such a manner, I would be upset. To say the least.
It's only in more recent years that conversations about men's mental health and consent have begun to happen, so it's not much of a surprise to me (sadly) that events were ignored or brushed over in the past.
The reason for my pointing all of this out is in response to his characterisation in Rogue and Gambit (2023).
Thus far, rather than dealing with his trauma, Gambit has ignored it.
RG23 is the point where everything has caught up with him, and he doesn't know how to cope. I can understand why it might seem like he's suddenly being written as a completely different person- for a very emotionally-driven person, somehow, his trauma has never negatively affected him in the past.
However, to understand RG23, we need to revisit Knights of X (2022)- where Gambit's depression came to the forefront. In issue 1, we see Rogue has left a note stating, "Shug- Working late. Don't wait up - Cher". We see he's unhappy about this, it's not the first time, and it's what leads him to join KOX and travel to the otherworld. He's lonely.
This panel from issue 2 tells us everything we need to know about Gambit's headspace at that point in time. He misses Rogue, he doesn't believe she misses him, and he doesn't believe she loves him anymore.
Gambit has always struck me as the kind of person who desperately wants to be loved, but does not believe he is worth loving. At the beginning of his relationship with Rogue, he wanted her to love him, but he couldn't let himself emotionally invest in her.
This could be attributed to a whole number of things, but I think it all comes down to low self-worth. We know Gambit doesn't think of himself as a good person, which leads to him willfully making bad decisions at times (self-destructive behaviour). We also know that when he loves, he loves with everything he has and more.
After his exile from New Orleans, Gambit chose to abandon Bella Donna instead of bringing her with him. I think, from his perspective, he'd done irrevocable damage to the peace between their families, not to mention killing her brother. He couldn't allow her to sacrifice everything just to be with him, so he left her. Why? Because he didn't believe he deserved her love and dedication.
I'm certain this is a mindset Gambit took to all of his relationships going forward. Flirting, flings, and one night stands are an easy way to feel important for a minute without the risk of someone truly knowing him and deciding he isn't worth their time.
I think this is why it took him so long to admit to Rogue (and himself) that he was in love with her. I think this is also why we've seen him completely give up on communicating with her between KOX and RG23.
If Gambit starts a conversation with Rogue about their relationship, he's opening himself up to rejection. We know from RG23 issue 2's Rogue interview that she would never reject him (from her perspective their marriage is fine), but he doesn't know that. To hear the one person he loves most in the world outright say she doesn't love him anymore... It would break him completely. So, Gambit avoids the conversation.
In KOX issue 3, Gambit essentially killed himself to save his team.
Now, consider his mindset: he's in the Otherworld because he thinks Rogue doesn't love him anymore.
I'm not saying that directly led to him killing himself- as I said, he did so to save his team. However, I think it's safe to say if his mental health was in a better place, he wouldn't have made such a decision, let alone have gone to the Otherworld to begin with.
This page from KOX issue 5 highlights his feelings for Rogue. She's his heart. His reason to live. Compare her statue to all of his:
Rogue's statue is surrounded by light. There's no way anyone could miss seeing it versus his statues, representing multiple versions of himself- all of them are shrouded in darkness, no visible details.
Not only does Gambit not want people to see him, he wants them to look at Rogue. To Gambit, Rogue is the best part of him.
I'm not gonna pretend that's a healthy mindset. If anything, it further emphasises to me his low self-worth.
I want to point out this page for several reasons.
Firstly, it could be said that Gambit didn't want to be saved, and that's why his Death persona manifested to kill his team. He wanted to stay dead.
Secondly, Death is the very very worst part of him, yet he says, "You ain't really changed if you ain't looked in the mirror and seen the worst parts a' yo'self. I am Death, mes amis." He's essentially telling them that this terrible, awful person is who he's always been deep inside. We know this isn't true, but this is what Gambit believes.
Thirdly, as mentioned earlier, when Gambit slips into that belief of "I'm a horrible person", he often makes bad decisions. In RG23 issue 2 (set after KOX), we see him tie an innocent civilian's hand to a gas stove, turn it on and then set it on fire. Gambit knows this is a horrible thing to do, but he's in such a horrible mental state that he doesn't think he's above this behaviour. I will come back to this point.
Gambit asks how anyone new is coming to the Otherworld because the gate between Krakoa and the Otherworld was closed, and Betsy could only take ten of them. To partake on such a dangerous mission, Gambit chose to risk leaving everything behind without knowing if he'd even make it back alive.
In a sense, he abandoned Rogue in a similar way to abandoning Bella Donna. He went somewhere neither of them could reach him. Or supposedly couldn't.
Rogue was first to greet him after his revival. Gambit couldn't believe this because a) he thought he was dead, and b) why would Rogue, who is too busy for him, be the first to see him after his resurrection?
It's easy to think that this moment resolved Gambit's worries that Rogue didn't love him, and that, going forward, their problems were fixed, but as RG23 shows, it didn't. Rogue showing up for him once isn't enough to fix their current issues because the problem lies deeper than Rogue's absence.
At a superficial level, it's easy to blame her for Gambit's mental state, but I believe this depression he's fallen into has been a long time coming. Decades of unprocessed trauma, insecurity and self-destructive behaviour- literally dying and coming back to life, have culminated in the Gambit we see in RG23. To be honest, you have to be in a very very dark place to kill yourself, self-sacrifice or otherwise.
Issue 1 of All New X-Factor (2014) shows Gambit is no stranger to drinking and barfights. The difference is his mindset. We know he can win a fight against multiple people- we've seen that happen many times. So why, in RG23 issue 1, was he suddenly unable to block a punch, let alone hold himself upright?
Because he didn't want to win.
When Rogue arrives to rescue him, we learn multiple things. It's not the first time he's disappeared somewhere without telling her; it's not the first time she's found him so drunk he's incapacitated; it's not the first time she's had to save him from a fight he's not winning.
What this tells me is that Gambit is purposefully putting himself in dangerous situations as a form of self-harm. He doesn't tell Rogue where he's going because he doesn't want her to save him. He drinks to the point he can barely stand to make sure there's no way he can win a fight, and then he starts a fight to get the shit kicked out of him.
It almost seems like, in some sense, he still wants to die, but he can't kill himself. Not while he remains in limbo with Rogue.
It works both ways- if he never asks Rogue how she feels, he never finds out that he's right and that she doesn't love him. He also never finds out he's wrong and that she does love him.
It's important to add here, that Rogue is in a very difficult position.
RG23 issue 1: we can see Gambit actively shutting Rogue out. He calls it a "misunderstanding" and his "business". Despite the fact that they're married, Gambit is basically telling Rogue to stay out of it.
Again, he's shutting her out, making light of such a dangerous situation and then outright ignoring her. In fact, Gambit's completely disregarding her feelings. We can see Rogue is exhausted. It's hard to care about someone who doesn't care about themselves.
And Rogue does care. A lot. Every time Gambit goes missing she goes out to find him, saves him and then brings him home to take care of him.
But she can't help him if he won't let her.
When someone you love hurts themselves, it hurts you too, and Gambit is indirectly hurting Rogue, but he refuses to see that because he's decided that she doesn't care. In his spiral of self-destruction, he's completely shut down communication between them.
Asking for help is never easy to do, and we know he thinks she's too busy for him. He doesn't want to burden her with his issues.
Furthermore, he doesn't want to face his issues and resolve them.
In issue 2 of RG23, after losing their powers, Rogue is freed from the burden of having to consciously control them at all times, and we see them share a moment of physical intimacy.
I find his use of "tête-à-tête" here (French for "a private conversation") ironic because we all know they weren't talking.
Returning to what I said earlier about Gambit and flings- physical intimacy is an easy way to briefly fill the void of what he's missing in emotional intimacy.
I don't believe he suddenly views his relationship with Rogue as something akin to a fling. I think the opposite.
Gambit invests in their relationship physically but not emotionally because to him, that's the safest way he can connect with Rogue right now. Touch is his love language, and when he can't find the words to speak, physical intimacy is the best he can do.
Rogue and Gambit (2018) showed us that, back then, Rogue was the one struggling to communicate her feelings, and Gambit was always very open with her about where he stood, so why the role reversal?
We can see Rogue trying to communicate, but Gambit shuts her down, pushing her away.
By doing this and holding onto the idea that Rogue doesn't love or care about him anymore, Gambit is sub-consciously trying to ruin their relationship.
Given how much he loves Rogue and wants to be with her, this tells me he's still in a very dark headspace.
Going back to the statues being parts of himself he doesn't want anyone to see, as well as becoming Death once more, and finally confessing his core belief- that he can't change, he will always be a terrible person: Gambit's trapped himself in his own insecurity.
If he opens up to Rogue, he risks her seeing him for who he truly believes he is. What comes with that? Rejection.
Here, we see Gambit drinking once again. Rogue also mentions how, on one occasion, he argued with a sommelier over wine. In both issue 1 and 2 Gambit's use of alcohol has been highlighted in a negative light. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism.
Also, it's easy to look at this scene and think Rogue is the one who can't let loose and lighten up, but I think what's actually happening is Gambit is ignoring her feelings, as he did in issue 1. She has a drink and two glasses next to her on the table, so it's not as if they haven't already spent a considerable amount of time having fun there.
When Rogue says they should leave, Gambit's more interested in continuing his escapism- until Black Panther arrives, and he starts another drunken fight he can't win. A pattern has been established.
"He'll save her. He's a hero." is a very telling line that reveals why Gambit did what he did- because he's not a hero, and he knew the woman would be saved.
To reiterate, Gambit believes he is a terrible person who is not above doing terrible things. He does not change: he will always be who he was as Death. The worst of the worst.
By risking an innocent woman's life to save himself (and Rogue), he only furthers this belief.
We see here that Gambit looked back to check if Black Panther did indeed save the woman he endangered. Without looking at Rogue and speaking quietly (evidenced by the smaller writing and bubble), he says to himself, "He saved her." Because Gambit isn't the terrible person he thinks himself to be- he couldn't leave without knowing the woman was safe.
This is how we, the reader, know that Gambit hasn't suddenly changed and become a terrible person. He's struggling with his mental health and sense of identity after a lifetime of trauma.
Honestly, there are so many more traumatic events I could talk about.
There's a long list of people Gambit's lost- as mentioned before, in his 1999 solo, it was shown he was partly responsible for the death of his cousin, Etienne.
In X-Men (1991), we found out that, after a failed heist, Gambit was forced by Sabretooth to pick between saving his brother and saving Genevieve. He chose his brother, and she was killed.
In his 2012 solo, Gambit's love interest, Joelle, killed herself in front of him. In his 2022 solo, he failed to save his love interest, Marissa, and as a result, she became visibly disfigured.
It goes without saying events like the Morlock Massacre would've had a huge impact on his mental health and sense of self-worth too.
If you've read all of the above, you might be wondering why only now are we getting to see the repercussions of all this? Why does all this trauma suddenly matter?
Rogue and Gambit (2018) opened the doorway for exploring their issues as a couple. Mr and Mrs X (2018) gave Rogue an opportunity to revisit her trauma (and finally conquer her powers in the process). Now, I think it's Gambit's turn. At this point, he's surpassed rock bottom, and the only way up is finally confronting these issues.
Will everything I've mentioned here be explored in Rogue and Gambit (2023)? I doubt it. It's very plot-driven and only five issues long.
However, I do think the first step for him is resolving his communication issues with Rogue, which I'm certain will happen in RG23. Afterwards, it wouldn't surprise me if we see him continue to fight his own demons in future issues until he finds his closure.
IN CONCLUSION: I understand the frustration with Gambit's characterisation and why it may seem like he's suddenly become an entirely different person. I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I've said!!
This is my personal interpretation of everything- I'm not trying to blame the current situation entirely on Gambit and act like Rogue can't make a bit more effort.
Their issues are a lot more complicated than simply Rogue not spending enough time with him.
I look forward to seeing this develop further in RG23 :D
tl;dr in my opinion his characterisation so far in Rogue and Gambit (2023) makes sense following the ideas established in Knights of X (2022): Gambit is depressed, has a very low self-esteem, and doesn’t believe Rogue loves him anymore
#i hope this all makes sense my brain turned to mush towards the end#rogue#gambit#analysis#knights of x#rogue and gambit 2023#remy lebeau#anna marie lebeau#romy#roguegambit
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question for eti : do you and churchill ever pick on each other because of how short you both are? :3
Churchill's no nonsense mindset doesnt always agree wuth Etienne's "lots of nonsense" personality, not that Etienne minds.
Bonus:
#ask the btd6 cast#bloons ask bloog#bloons td6#bloons tower defense 6#btd6#btd#btd6 etienne#btd6 churchill#theyre great friends
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28, 29, 41, 50!!
jdsjhdjdj hijacking this ask into a 2-for-1 so. kaine and etienne, my tiefling ranger :3c cuz he's still very new to me
asks from here
28. Are they a #gamer?
this is so funny. there is a cursed universe in which kaine is a prettyboy twitch streamer who gets tens of thousands of views by doing platformer speedruns. but no
etienne doesn't know what chess is let alone a video game. if you tried to explain it to him he would get irritated and walk away
29. If they were real would you be friends with them?
the real question is would kaine deign to speak to me at all because i should be so lucky - but in all seriousness kaine is deeply a part of me, so i like to think we would be. they're a bit reflective of a lot of the growth i've experienced in my adult life and i think we could learn a lot from each other :) we are both fiercely loyal and love to have fun, though i think they'd stress me out a lot nsjdsndj
etienne isn't necessarily a "friend"ish kind of guy but... i think it could work. he's pretty no-nonsense which is something would make or break our friendship depending on the circumstances of our first meeting. first impressions go a long way for both of us so i could see it going either way
41. Do they learn from their mistakes?
kaine doesn't make mistakes :thumbsup: they are capable of learning and growing and in fact place a lot of value in knowledge, but truly in their mind they are infallible. and due to their...circumstances (and being the only child of a family that claims to be descended from a god) if anything goes "wrong" for them they just have this mindset of like. well. it was meant to happen! and i'm still alive! we move on
etienne does. he's more or less a park ranger and so he both needs to know a lot (about nature, survival, and the world around him) and be adaptable. he doesn't panic easily and tries to think things through Before he makes any mistakes but he's not averse to recognizing when he does and learning from it
50. What is your favorite thing about them?
the thing i love about kaine is their biggest flaw - their arrogance, their temerity, but it's also their biggest strength. they're so self assured that they reach all new heights just by not really giving a shit. they truly believe nothing bad can happen to them. i wish i could be like that
i think as of right now my favorite thing about etienne is his competence. i love competent men. he's abrasive and rude and lies for fun but he will pick you up and carry you out of danger with ease. i love that for him<3
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For centuries, Africa has served as an inspiration for the world's most renowned beauty brands, from Byredo's Bal d’Afrique to Diptyque's use of Madagascan vanilla. Despite this historical significance in the perfumery landscape, homegrown African fragrance brands are now making assertive strides to carve out their space within this cultural tapestry. Brands like Senegal's Réserve en Afrique, South Africa's Niche Parfums, and Nigeria's Catherine Omai are crafting unique identities by utilizing indigenous botanicals, aiming not only to appeal to local markets but also to establish a global presence. The market for fragrances in Africa has shown promising growth potential. Reports from Euromonitor International indicate that the South African fragrance market is expected to expand by 7.6%, reaching $672 million in the coming years. Meanwhile, the market values for Kenya, Angola, and Nigeria are projected to collectively hit $183 million. This upward trajectory highlights a notable trend: consumers across the continent are increasingly pursuing premium and niche fragrances, emphasizing the desire for distinctive and luxurious scents. It is important to understand why local fragrance brands are gaining traction despite the dominant international players like Coty, Revlon, and Puig. Rubab Abdoolla, a consultant at Euromonitor International, points out that international brands are generally perceived as status symbols. Consumers often view these as aspirational products. As a result, there is a growing interest in homegrown offerings that resonate with a unique African identity. Nevertheless, the challenge remains: African brands wrestle with limited access to suppliers and a competitive retail environment, making large-scale growth a daunting task. The Founders' Dream One of the prominent voices in this transformation is Etienne Haddad, co-founder of Réserve en Afrique. He emphasizes the need to engage with consumers both in Africa and across the globe, aiming to create fragrances that capture the spirit and culture of the continent. “Africa has been key to the perfumery world for centuries. But there aren't many of us [perfumers],” he remarks. This sentiment is echoed by Thamani Thothe, the founder of White Label Fragrances in Botswana, who highlights the importance of the local consumer mindset. She adds that spending on high-end fragrances, sometimes reaching $200 for a bottle, is not unusual among the growing middle class in southern Africa. Social media has also played a formidable role in reshaping consumer perceptions and accessibility. Zesipho Mcwango, founder of the fragrance discovery account The Official Perfume Plug, remarks, “Before social media, our proximity to luxury and niche brands was zero.” The platforms have aided in not only democratizing access to information about fragrances but also in nurturing a culture of discovery among consumers who are now more willing to experiment with local offerings. Trade Barriers and Opportunities Despite the burgeoning interest in luxury fragrances, local perfumers face significant obstacles, including high shipping costs and customs charges which make intercontinental trade a challenge. For instance, Thothe highlights the impracticality of trade between African nations: “If you’re selling a unit for $50, and shipping is $100, it doesn’t make sense.” This has prompted brands to seek alternative routes to market, including travel retail. Tanal Ghandour, founder of Scent of Africa, envisions airports as a strategic location to capture consumers with higher purchasing power. While navigating the logistics might feel cumbersome, the recognition of Africa's rich scent landscape is gaining momentum. Brands are leveraging native botanicals, such as Egyptian jasmine, Nigerian ginger, and Ivorian black pepper, to create authentic fragrances that resonate with both local and global audiences. This cultural connection is essential for brands looking to harness the continent's unique appeal.
Emerging Retail Structures Rising interest has birthed new retail platforms catering specifically to niche perfumes. International beauty brands are starting collaborations with established local retailers like The Foschini Group and Lintons Beauty World. Moreover, specialized fragrance boutiques like Skins Cosmetics in South Africa have set the precedent for luxury retailers looking to offer niche scents. Since opening its first store in 2017, Skins has expanded its portfolio to include over 75 international brands, showcasing the power of collaboration in market penetration. Today’s consumers are eager to experience luxury and niche perfumes, which has led to an increase in sampling initiatives. Olaseinde Olusola, co-founder of Seinde Signature, underscored the importance of consumer education by stating that their current strategy involves heavy investment in sampling, aiming to shift preconceived notions associated with quality. The Future Looks Bright The growth trajectory of the African fragrance industry appears promising as it strives to secure a more prominent presence on the global stage. The journey has just begun, embedded with potential. The founders of African fragrance brands are not merely selling scents; they are narrating stories woven from the rich cultural tapestry of the continent, and importantly, reshaping consumer perceptions around luxury fragrances. As these brands gain visibility and establish a foothold in the global market, they will not only drive cultural pride but also potentially redefine the fragrance landscape on a larger scale.
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Religion in Paris & Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement
#4 - Visit one historic church we did not visit together
Having the opportunity to experience a multitude of religious spaces including Roman Catholic mass, visiting the Grande Mosquée de Paris, and touring the Immigration Museum while in Paris offered me a great comparison to similar spaces I have visited within the United States. Through my church’s confirmation process, I have had the opportunity to visit a catholic mass, Mosque, and learn about their histories within the united states. Some comparisons I can draw are through that of the general layout of the spaces. The general spaces that are used to perform the services were very similar. Some of the main differences I observed were the general age gaps between the Parisian and American religious spaces. The majority of the American spaces I have visited are not historic buildings and merely held some historic items within them. In contrast to this, the majority of religious spaces in Paris are historic structures, as well as hold historic religious items within them.
Top left: view of the organ at St. Eustache Roman Catholic Mass
Top right: Outside of St. Eustache
Bottom: the Grande Mosquée de Paris gardens
Similar to how my confirmation visits were intended to open our eyes to other religions and their differences from my own, visiting these spaces helped further my understanding of the religions of France. Understanding the connections between the religious diversity of France and its history of colonization also opened my eyes to the differences between historic France and modern-day France. One specific detail that stood out to me in connection to this was the details surrounding the French government building the Grande Mosqueé de Paris for the people of Paris’s religious freedom. In terms of the French laicité, I feel that while it does have some areas of technical difficulty, it generally is positive for the majority of the French people. While it has areas of concern in relation to the wearing of religious garments in public or school, and also the national use of catholic holidays, its overall impact is positive in my opinion. Choosing to let people choose their religion, or choose to not participate at all matches along well with the general French mindset of choosing what is best for the majority of its people.
Top left: Sign marking Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement as a recognized historic monument
Top right: Another sign recognizing its history
Bottom: the details of the entrance of Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement church
I also had the opportunity to visit Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement in a moment of free time. Standing as a historic site of Paris, it was interesting to be able to walk around and reflect on the importance and history formed within the monumental space. Built-in the style of the Roman basilicas in 1826, the city of Paris commissioned its design by Etienne-Hippolyte Godde. From the entrance of the building, its detailed exterior facade of relief sculptures helps it stand out as an important place of religion. When entering the inside of the building, the first thing I noted was the high level of detail included in the ceiling. Other than the ceiling, main paintings toward the end of the space, and the occasional stained glass window, this building truly sticks to the Historic Roman influence, not bothering with too much extra grand detail. It feels as if this space is choosing the more simple interior and choosing to focus on the purpose of the space itself rather than over-exaggerate the details.
(529 Words)
Top left: Inside Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement Church
Top right: Inside Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement Church Cont.
Bottom: The ceiling details of Saint-Denis-du-Saint-Sacrement church
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How to Curb Overspending Year-round
Beyond making New Year’s resolutions, you must commit to a year-round mindset. Recognizing when you veer off course and teaching yourself new behaviors are essential to being a success in the long run. If overspending is the habit you want to curb, remember that spending money isn’t bad. For the most part, it’s necessary. Overspending, however, can negatively impact your finances, credit rating, and every other aspect of your life.
Whatever your objective, it helps to remember why you want to change. Clarity is the driving force behind every action we do. It fuels motivation and reminds us of our end goals. To control spending, calculate your net income after taxes and subtract mandatory monthly bills, like rent and utilities. Budget for holidays like Christmas and birthdays and put aside money regularly.
Temptations exist all around when it comes to spending. Consumers no longer need to leave their homes to receive advertisements catered to their ideal needs, sometimes before they know themselves. To protect yourself, it helps to cancel all digital and mail-order catalogs and unsubscribe from all marketing lists. You can also combat spending triggers by keeping a spending journal, using budgeting software, and checking your bank account daily. Transaction alerts show in real-time, making you consciously aware of purchases online or in person. This accountability will reduce the number of impulse purchases. Additionally, a spending journal will help you notice frequent purchases and simplifies budgeting.
Credit cards offer rewards like frequent flyer miles, cash back, and spending points. Cards can be helpful in some instances, but it’s essential to rely on them sparingly. Without seeing an instant effect on your bank account, it is easy not to hold yourself accountable. Only buy something on credit that you can pay for in cash. Credit cards should always be paid in full when the bill comes due to avoid paying ridiculous interest rates. Even when cards are paid off, keep accounts open and active. A zero balance reduces your revolving usage ratio, which is used to identify clients in financial distress. Lowering this proportion demonstrates steadiness.
Another tool for curbing spending is to set a 48-hour restriction on purchases. Often, impulse buys are based on a current state of mind. The inevitable post-purchase anxiety and regret follow. After the waiting period, if you still feel the same way, then buy the item. Set limits on the scope and range of purchases to avoid causing disruptions in your daily life.
This post was originally published on Etienne Kiss-Borlase’s Finance blog. For more info about Etienne, please visit his homepage.
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i love felix... idk if i said it enough already... thank you for answering!! have this in exchange!!
etienne is really introverted (not in a shy way but in an apathetic way) and distant on a personnal level but considering his best friend is a monologuing egomaniac, i'm sure he'd grow fond of felix being talkative of his interests!! he loves being the one who doesn't have to talk and just to be supportive.
and on a professional level he's all about medicine so he'd 100% help felix with his studies, debate with him, even tutor him if needed and all that stuff!! but when being in a professional mindset, he may become a bit too serious and somewhat uncaring...
anyways i'm sure they could entertain a nice relationship <3
sorry to be so felixpilled but i'm thinking about blorbos (my oc I. E. Plaureur (aka Étienne) and felix) interacting since etienne is a doctor and felix a nurse-to-be...
so i was wondering!! how does felix behave socially? how does he react upon meeting new people? and how does he treat fellow medical professionals? (i love felix)
hmmm i havent thought as much about this sort of thing since his world kind of revolves around the other characters (thus ive only fleshed out his interactions with them, which are all very cartoonish and personal and exaggerated since its just his close friends and family. eheh).
i thinkk normally with strangers hes pretty chill. a little awkward and cringe (he lacks self awareness) but he still connects with people hes pretty likable. hes very caught up in his own interests but i think hes still pretty extroverted. anyways because of that i think hed try a little harder to be extra normal (thus, overcompensates, still coming off a little strange) around other medical people because he is genuinely very interested in what they do and in making a good impression. i think as a result though hes like. accidentally manipulative lmao. not in an evil conniving way hes just vaguely aware of the idea that saying certain things will bring him towards a desired outcome
anyways that so so so awesome you should tell me about étienne......
#art#frens#tenyoxin#I. E. Plaureur#zapsoda#it's felix!!#im also so ecstatic of making my ocs interact with other people's ocs....#ALSO FELIX??#HELLO#i almost died drawing him i love him#truly got stunned i had a hard time drawing etienne as good as him#rambling
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𝐸𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒟𝒶𝓂𝒶𝑔𝑒
bold whatever applies to your muse. italicize the things that only somewhat apply / are verse dependent. REPOST, DON’T REBLOG.
been cheated on | been bullied | had your heart broken | broken someone’s heart | told a horrible lie | been betrayed | been framed / set-up | stolen something of value | overdosed on drugs | been drunk | cheated | bullied | been publicly humiliated | punched someone in the face | been beaten up | broken a bone | been admitted to a hospital | put someone in the hospital | had a near - death experience | been drugged | done drugs | smoked | been arrested | been homeless | been forced to commit a crime | died and came back to life | kissed someone you weren’t attracted to | bled severely | killed someone | been forced to kill someone | had an attempt on your life | made an attempt on your own life | lost someone | loved someone | watched a loved one die | failed to save / help a loved one | felt helpless | watched your world die / disappear | had your life’s work stolen / destroyed
gone without food for over three days | gone without sleep for over three days | been tortured / questioned | been shot | been stabbed | been poisoned | been held prisoner | been trapped | been buried alive | been held hostage | held someone hostage | been stuck in a different world / universe / time | been abused by someone who should have loved / appreciated / valued you | had a panic anxiety attack | had night terrors | been in a car accident | lost your job | lost a fight | had sex with a stranger | been divorced | been abandoned | passed out from pain | cried yourself to sleep | spent a whole day in bed | hurt yourself | taken your anger out on yourself | taken your anger out on someone you love | been used | been manipulated | felt used | manipulated someone else | had your memories / mind wiped / stolen or tampered with | been taken over by a hostile force | been terrified | played a cruel game on someone | been forced to smile | felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying | been in denial | been denied | faced your demons
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Love languages and the muses ; The Wolves
The five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch
Lucien: Physical Touch Damian: Words of Affirmation Vincent: Quality Time Audrey: Acts of Service Lothar: Physical Touch Elias: Quality Time Vinicio: Acts of Service Cipriana: Acts of Service Adrastos: Quality Time Jacintha: Receiving Gifts Lorenzo: Words of Affirmation Yesenia: Physical Touch Shohei: Quality Time Kitiara: Words of Affirmation Penelope: Words of Affirmation Aias: Quality Time Etienne: Physical Touch Beau: Words of Affirmation Nazaire: Words of Affirmation Silvanus: Acts of Service Solene: Words of Affirmation Inaya: Physical Touch Alaric: Receiving Gifts Madison: Acts of Service Cerberus: Unknown
#lucien ;; mindset#damian ;; mindset#vincent ;; mindset#audrey ;; mindset#lothar ;; mindset#elias ;; mindset#vinicio ;; mindset#cipriana ;; mindset#adrastos ;; mindset#jacintha ;; mindset#lorenzo ;; mindset#yesenia ;; mindset#shohei ;; mindset#kitiara ;; mindset#penelope ;; mindset#aias ;; mindset#etienne ;; mindset#beau ;; mindset#nazaire ;; mindset#silvanus ;; mindset#solene ;; mindset#inaya ;; mindset#alaric ;; mindset#madison ;; mindset#cerberus ;; mindset#( love languages )
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Well I promised you a post about my bi Geoffrey Martewall headcanons so here it is guys <3
So…as I previously mentioned in a tag under one of @agapantoblu's posts, I've been half-seriously headcanoning Geoffrey Martewall a.k.a. the best character in the Hypervesum series as a clueless bisexual for... well, for some time. Let's say a year and a half. I've never bothered actually sharing these headcanons online because I didn't really have a clear idea for an actual argument in support of this claim of mine, but now I’m finally ready to put the all the reasons why I get extra-strong bisexual vibes from Geoffrey Martewall into words. Beware…it’s a lot of words :’’)
Exhibit A: Geoffrey and women
1.1. Geoffrey’s taste in women is just too good
Listen. LISTEN. Our man’s taste in women is IMPECCABLE: he could, as Brianna said herself, have chosen to take any young noble maiden as his wife, but he decided to go for a woman that 1) is a couple years older than him 2) is not noble at all and, you know, used to be just a poor paesant before coming to Châtel-Argent 3) already has a son who was fathered by a French knight to whom she was never married and that she had to raise as a teen single mom 4) at the time of their first meeting had a crush on his current worst enemy. LISTEN!!!!!!!! Geoffrey’s taste in women is suspiciously good, way too good, in fact, to be that of a medieval straight guy. I mean…Ian, a man who comes from the 21st century, fell for the textbook angelic maiden, while Geoffrey literally did not even bother looking around for some young blushing bride and just decided that the hot milf who threatened him with a pitchfork in book 2 was his first and best choice. What an Absolute Fucking King. This choice of his is, in my opinion, very telling of the kind of view he has of romance and women in general.
Which brings me to the next point, namely:
1.2. Geoffrey appears to have an attitude towards women and a view of womanhood that are significantly more modern than those of an average knight of his time
Is it just me or is Geoffrey actually the one with the most… modern mindset out of all the knights starring in the saga? There are a couple of specific scenes that kind of make me think of him as an outlier among his peers, and although some of those are definitely there for the purpose of showing us that Martewall is indeed a rather peculiar knight, others contribute to creating the picture of a character that is almost… out of place in the 13th century?
Allow me to expand a bit further on the “Geoffrey and women” topic: we saw how chivalrous and respectful Geoffrey was towards an unconscious and injured Brianna. First he made sure her son was comfortable with him warming her up using his own body, and reassured him he meant no disrespect by removing her clothes; then, he proceeded to strip her in the most methodical and detached way possible, which let us know Geoffrey respects a woman’s body and modesty the way any proper, courteous medieval man would. But then there’s another, and in my opinion far more interesting, instance in which Geoffrey is seen interacting with a woman: I’m talking about his brief conversation with Blanche of Castile in book 3. Here we see 1) how Geoffrey treats women he is not attracted to (“not attracted to” as in: women he has no interest in romancing), and 2) to what degree he actually respects female authority.
Our first introduction to Blanche is the scene in which Guillaume, Ian and Henri de Bar are talking about her right before the audience in Paris, during which we learn that the vast majority of noblemen do not take her opinions seriously and do not appreciate seeing her talk during political debates. Even Henri de Bar, although he does not mean to be insolent, raises an eyebrow at the thought of a woman participating in conversations that concern military strategy, while Guillaume seems almost amused at Ian’s heartfelt defence of her speeches. Which is why Geoffrey’s brief interaction with her stands out so much: when she starts talking about the war in England with him, he carefully listens to her as if she were just another male superior officer: he does not appear even slightly surprised by her competence, he does not try to dumb down the topic of discussion, he listens carefully to what she is saying, he offers his opinion only when she asks for it and he answers her questions in the most straightforward way possible. At no point during the conversation does he ever attempt to pull the condescending “with all due respect, madame…” to correct or contradict her statements. He is not in courteous knight mode, he is in soldier mode, and is unfazed by the fact that the one he is discussing logistics and war strategy with is a delicate looking princess. Once again, the author is fleshing out Geoffrey’s character by having the protagonist and point of view character draw a direct comparison between him and other men. Martewall does not simply respect women as in “oh I’m a proper knight and I use my blade to protect defenceless maidens”, he actually, genuinely respects women.
Which in my opinion is such an interesting facet of his values and personality: in the second half of book 2, Ian notices how thoroughly Harald Martewall managed to drill the code of chivalry into his son’s head, and remarks on the fact that the Martewalls are all perfect examples of the True Old School Knights. Both Harald and Geoffrey are the embodiment of the honourable, unyielding, upright warrior trope, and they perfectly fit the image we modern people conjure in our minds when we think of a knight of the Middle Ages. This specific aspect of Geoffrey’s set of values gives his character a strong, let’s say “old-fashioned” connotation, and yet said set of values seems to come from an internal source rather than rely on tradition and external rules. He, for example, got rid of his helm and shield when he saw his adversary in combat was not fully equipped, but he also willingly assisted the Dauphin in taking over England despite having previously sworn an oath of loyalty to John Plantagenet, since his sense of honour compelled him to aid the man who provided him with the help he needed to get his home back. Geoffrey is way more likely to base his choices on what his own moral compass compels him to do rather than resort to convention and tradition to tell right from wrong. This makes Geoffrey a perfect blend of both old and modern qualities, and in the context of his relationship with women he tends to lean quite heavily on his more modern side.
Let’s go back to discussing his first introduction to Brianna for a second: he witnesses Brianna express her unrequited attraction to Ian, flirt with him and even mock-kiss him straight on the lips, and yet not only does that not make Geoffrey respect her any less, it also does not concern him at all later in book 3 when the story hints at the fact that he might have an interest in taking her as his wife. This is a rather unusual attitude! I mean, even the exuberant Etienne de Sancerre, who has shown an overt preference for feisty and confident women, grumbles and protests in jealousy when his wife Donna and Daniel greet each other with a hug while out in public, deeming the gesture to be inappropriate. What I’m trying to say here is that this is a man who is waaaaay ahead of his peers in regards to his view of women and womanhood, and who also appears to be very confident in his masculinity (so confident, in fact, that the thought of having to “put women in their place” never once crosses his mind), hence why I keep sensing the most excellent kind of bisexual vibes coming from him.
Exhibit B: Geoffrey and men
2.1 Jerome and Geoffrey’s friendship makes NO sense
And I mean it. Yes, we do read about Ian wondering how two people with such different sets of core values (ok maybe Jerome lacked core values all together lol) could have ever been friends, which means that yes, readers are in fact meant to notice how misguided Geoffrey is in his commitment to honour this bond of friendship and avenge Jerome’s death, but the more I think about this, the more I convince myself that this whole situation is, in fact…really weird.
Let’s start from the beginning: so, Geoffrey’s anger over Jerome’s death is the main source of conflict between him and Ian, and it puts the plot of book 2 in motion. Now, we never actually saw Geoffrey and Jerome talk to each other in book 1 (because at the time of its drafting the author had not yet planned on writing a sequel for it) so all the available details about their relationship (mind you, there aren’t that many) have to be gleaned from Geoffrey’s recollections present in book 2 and pieced back together in order to get a clearer picture. Another fact that should be noted is that we also never saw Jerome talk about Geoffrey (again, because Geoffrey wasn’t really that relevant to the plot of book 1): Geoffrey’s words are the only source available when it comes to trying to reconstruct what their interactions might have been like, which means that our perspective on their friendship is going to be inevitably, extremely one-sided.
So here we go, book 2, chapter 5: Geoffrey has decided to abduct Ian and Daniel and drag them to his home in England to get some answers and avenge Jerome’s death and he currently has Ian at his mercy, so he immediately starts asking questions. He asks why he currently is not home, he asks why his brother has no knowledge of his whereabouts, he asks if his name really is Jean Marc de Ponthieu, and these are all very dangerous questions: they pose a real threat to Ian’s credibility. But then, when Geoffrey asks why Jerome was so certain he was an imposter, Ian breathes in relief, because that means Geoffrey knows nothing about the ambush in Couronne.
But. Wait a second.
How could Geoffrey possibly not know about Couronne? That’s how Derangale KNEW without a shadow of a doubt that Ian and Jean de Ponthieu were never the same person! Dude was busy forging incriminating letters left and right with Ponthieu’s help??? He was the one who helped Ponthieu and Renaud De Dammartin set Isabeau up to be assaulted by Claude de Dammartin??? Geoffrey explicitly says Jerome was obsessed with Ian, so Derangale must have talked his ear OFF with all his incessant rambling about him being an imposter…and Geoffrey did not bother asking him about the details of this weird doppelganger theory of his ONCE? We know how sharp and observant Geoffrey is. We know he is perceptive, and straightforward in voicing his opinions, and not easy to fool. We know he is the type of guy who likes to ask direct questions and get believable, clear answers in return, so he MUST have asked Jerome why he was so sure about the illegitimacy of Ian’s identity. How did Jerome answer? Did he make up a lie on the spot? Geoffrey is equipped with a very functional built-in anti-nonsense super-sensor (the one that allowed him to immediately spot all the places in which Ian’s deception and intentional gaslighting were coming off at their seams even after Ian had managed to convince Geoffrey’s own father that he was Jean de Ponthieu’s second-born son), so if that was the case – if Jerome had indeed tried to make up some story about why he knew who the real Jean de Ponthieu was – Geoffrey (in theory) would have easily been able to tell that he was being lied to.
Do we then have to assume Jerome simply replied with “I just know”? Well…the text implies that this is the most plausible option: as Ian and Geoffrey’s heated conversation goes on, we realize that the only reason Geoffrey believes Ian to be an imposter is…because Jerome said so. And this, in my opinion, says a lot about both Geoffrey’s relationship with Derangale and his current emotional state. Let’s really think about what this little kidnapping stunt of his must look like from an outside perspective: Geoffrey just decided to abduct a man whose identity has been publicly confirmed by Guillaume de Ponthieu, one of the most powerful men on French soil, who also happens to be a relative of king Philippe Auguste (which means Ian has ties to the royal family as well lol???), who ALSO confirmed that Ian is the youngest Ponthieu brother and PERSONALLY BESTOWED the title of Faucon du Roi upon him. Geoffrey does not (currently) have a shred of proof against Ian: he just chose to believe that Ian is some random foreigner who has been allowed to pretend to be a nobleman and marry Isabeau de Montmayeur by the count of Ponthieu and the king of France because that’s what Jerome believed. Jerome stood alone in front of the entire French court, subjecting himself to ridicule, to denounce Ian as an imposter and Guillaume as a liar (and readers know he is 100% right, but look at this from the perspective of one of the characters who are not involved in this intrigue), which are such far-fetched, absurd, ludicrous accusations, even the closest of Jerome’s friends would have demanded at least some evidence in order to give his version of the story some credit. And yet Geoffrey, who has not been given even one crumb of information on the real Jean de Ponthieu’s actual political alignment, simply decided to stand with him against the rest of the world.
And then, Ian starts answering Geoffrey’s questions by telling him all the vile things Jerome did to him, his family and his friends (while still carefully avoiding the Couronne topic): he tells him of his sadism, villany and criminal actions, and Geoffrey does not believe a single word of what he’s saying. He straight up calls all these accusations lies, and he urges Ian to stop insulting a knight of England his peer and a man of honour deserving of respect. Geoffrey refuses to listen to any negative remark Ian has to make and threatens him with violence when he insists on calling Jerome an unworthy man. “Jerome wasn’t a liar”, he says; “he was my friend, and you killed him”. This is exactly what I meant when I said their friendship strikes me as extremely weird: I mean come on, really? Derangale was a textbook piece of shit. He was violent, vengeful, and arrogant, and yet Geoffrey describes him as a “man of honour”??? It almost seems as if he and Ian are not even talking about the same person??? The sadistic felon Ian met in Cairs is nothing like the friend Geoffrey has such a high opinion of. Which can only mean one thing, namely that when he was with Geoffrey, Jerome was on his best behaviour. And in order to have adapted his behaviour to fit Geoffrey’s expectations of a good and honourable friend, Derangale must have had a very clear picture of the kind of person his “friend” was. Jerome knew Geoffrey would never have allowed all that malicious shit to happen under his watch, so he decided to keep all his plotting a secret from him. Geoffrey never was Jerome’s accomplice in aiding Renaud de Dammartin, Ferrand de Flandre and Jean de Ponthieu steal the Montmayeur fief for king John, and therefore has no reason to believe Ian’s words.
There are two things about this situation that strike me as particularly weird. First of all: Derangale wasn’t just witholding information from Geoffrey, he was also hiding his true nature from him. And Geoffrey…never noticed? Geoffrey, who can usually smell bullshit and deception from a mile away, who has no difficulty in telling a man of honour from a felon, who normally would not bother wasting his time being friends with such an insufferable prick, never managed to guess the true nature of Jerome’s character? Huh??? And secondly: why exactly did Derangale ask for help from a guy he was so sure he would never have been able to turn into one of his accomplices he had to actively keep parts of himself and his plans hidden for months up to the battle in Bouvines? What we know, thanks to Harald Martewall, is that Jerome was the first to reach out to Geoffrey back in book 1: apparently, the two of them used to be friends as young boys, then stopped seeing each other for a couple of years until Derangale decided to pick up the phone and give him a call. Geoffrey was in England, minding his own business, when Jerome contacted him to ask if he was willing to join him in Béarne. He, as sir Harald recalls, “was busy raising a cavalry troop for Ferrand De Flandre, and wanted my last-born as champion in a tournament”. It is not difficult to guess why Derangale asked specifically for Geoffrey to join his faction. Martewall is, simply put, the baddest bitch in the area: he is easily the scariest and most skilled warrior out of all the knights we get to meet in the saga, and an experienced tournament champion is precisely what Jerome needs for the little show he has in plan for Béarne. What I really want to know here is: couldn’t Derangale have called for literally any other English knight to help him win? Why did he risk enrolling a guy he knew would never have approved of his schemes and totally could have kicked his ass if he ever found out about his misconduct? Couldn’t he have called for a couple more champions who would have been overjoyed at the opportunity of beating the shit out of all those French knights? Why did it have to be just him and Geoffrey against the ENTIRETY of Philippe Auguste’s lineup? Why was he so confident in his ability to manipulate Geoffrey? Oh AND. This is an information that is nowhere to be found in the actual books but it is something I asked the author to confirm because I was just too curious: Geoffrey…did not have fun in Béarne, like at all. He did not care for the show Jerome wanted to put on, he did not enjoy participating in that display of strength and superiority, and he was grumpier than usual during the whole ordeal. So our man Jerome basically decided to rely exclusively on Geoffrey’s excellence and made him travel all the way to Béarne instead of putting together a slightly larger faction of fellows who could have maybe shared his immoral cause (like hello?????? it’s literally JUST the two of them against ALL the French nobles competing at the tournament lmfao??? I mean ok girl!!! give us drama! give us spectacle!) despite knowing that 1) he would have had to completely alter his behaviour around him 2) he could never have explained to him why he knew with absolute certainty Ian was an imposter and 3) Geoffrey would have intensely disliked being at the centre of theatrics. Like…I get that Geoffrey is your most skilled friend when it comes to the art of jousting, but… his presence is also a bit too inconvenient in this context? I mean really? You didn’t know any other knights in the area who could have been available as champions? You had to call for Geoffrey? Specifically for him? Haha girl ok! (oh and you also saved some of the custom higher quality blades you had made for your squadron to arm Geoffrey? Ok! Oh and you decided to pick Geoffrey as the other leader of your special squadron? Girl Ok!!! The guy would leave your ass in less than a second if he ever found out about your awful crimes so keeping him at your side is quite the risky move, but you do you I guess).
And another thing is, not only did Geoffrey hate every second of that charade, he (and this is also information that I got directly from the author) was downright shocked at Derangale’s unprompted act of violence against the young count of Grandpré… that was something that caught him completely off guard and that left a bitter taste in his mouth. It makes total sense for Geoffrey to feel this way, that’s very in character for him. What actually, really surprises me is Geoffrey’s reaction at hearing Ian mention this particular incident. You were there, says Ian, you saw Derangale attempt to kill a friend of mine with your own two eyes, and yet you insist on threatening me for calling him a criminal and an assassin. And that’s what finally prompts Geoffrey to lay hands on him. He silences him with a slap so violent it almost makes him fall on the ground. Geoffrey reacted with anger and disbelief when Ian was describing him heinous crimes that he never witnessed and did not believe to be true, but only resorted to physical violence when Ian forced him to acknowledge and condemn an action he actually saw Jerome commit. This brief scene alone is enough for me to confidently conclude that Geoffrey is, there are no other words fit to describe his current emotional state, deep in DENIAL. He hears an uncomfortable truth he has no way of denying, he lets that send him into a violent rage, he acts that violence out and then he ends the whole conversation there. He just. Leaves. And he repeats the same exact pattern of behaviour a second time! Book 2, chapter 12: Martewall starts to interrogate Daniel, who tells him about Derangale’s first attempt at kidnapping Isabeau AND manages to have one of his own men confirm his story. Then Geoffrey becomes visibly agitated, to the point he inadvertently breaks the rod he brought to beat information out of his prisoner in fucking two, CHANGES THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION ON PURPOSE, and then when Daniel insists on bringing the conversation back to Derangale’s crimes he draws his sword, points it at him in another fit of anger and then! He LEAVES!! AGAIN!!! Bro???????????? You keep saying you “want the truth” and yet when you finally get it you cut the conversation off because you don’t like what you’re hearing? Hello???
“You insist on defending him only because you do not want to admit you have been lied to and manipulated by him”, this is what Daniel says to Martewall’s face, and the most articulate rebuttal he is able to come up with on the spot is “that is not true”. He absolutely did not expect to be confronted with such merciless answers, and he has no idea how to cope with Ian and Daniel ripping into the image of the good and honourable Jerome that only exists in his mind, so he just rejects anything negative they have to say and breaks things like a moody teenager.
His behaviour is extremely erratic. For the entirety of the first half of book 2, Geoffrey is clearly not his usual self. His own father tells him he does not recognize him anymore. And when Sir Harald confronts him and makes an attempt at urging him to release Daniel, Geoffrey reacts with something I would almost describe as a…temper tantrum? Sir Harald’s request for an explanation from his son is more than legit: after all, he just learned from Daniel that Geoffrey decided to kidnap a renowned nobleman on a whim, without any evidence of his supposed crimes, WITHIN THE BORDERS OF HIS FIEF IN FRENCH LANDS. That could get them in SERIOUS trouble with both his brother Guillaume de Ponthieu and Philippe Auguste himself, as Salisbury will later remark on. I mean, this action is not only dishonourable, as Sir Harald will be very quick to point out, but also extremely stupid. And Geoffrey is not stupid. Like, at all. He knows when to shut up, his rage is usually under check, he is not prone to acting out in anger or taking rash decisions. But here, Geoffrey is letting his emotions run rampant. His father is being perfectly reasonable, and he replies quite disrespectfully by stating that he is not a young boy anymore and that he will not allow for any reproach o interference on his part.
It should be noted that Geoffrey’s troubled state of mind is not solely the result of Jerome’s death. In fact, in chapter 12, Geoffrey makes it clear why he is so angry and frustrated. He lays out all of his reasons to his father:
“I’ve always done my duty and I lost my honour because of those to whom I owed my loyalty. I fought loyally until the very end, I paid my defeat with imprisonment, only to discover at my release that my name is associated to those of a friend deemed a felon and a king judged a coward; I return to my homeland and I end up on a list of traitors because of you! I am forced to be subject to the last two accusations, but the first…that one I intend to acquit myself from with any means necessary. At this point, I have already lost my dignity as a knight and you are the last person who can reproach me for it, since you are the one who dealt me the final blow”.
Geoffrey’s words reveal that he is also doing all of this for himself. He is now more desperate than ever to prove Jerome was always in the right, since this seems to be the only means of coping with the loss of his precious honour. The thought of having been friends with a felon of this magnitude is something Geoffrey could never, ever tolerate, because what would this say about him as a person? This explains the state of denial he currently is in: he has done something he would normally see as despicable by kidnapping Ian in his own lands, but he could excuse acting like a vulgar bandit if only he managed to force a confession out of Ian and avenge Jerome’s death (have I already mentioned Geoffrey has NO business being mad about Jerome meeting his demise at Ian’s hands? Dude was killed in fair combat. On a battlefield. Ian did not assassinate him or anything of that sort, there simply are NO good reasons as for why Geoffrey could ever want to “avenge” his friend’s death?? like there’s literally nothing to avenge here??? Lol???). And although Geoffrey is indeed defending Jerome’s honour because he feels that his crimes, if proven true, could reflect badly on himself, Geoffrey’s words still betray real attachment and a genuine feeling of affection for Jerome. Ian himself will later recognize their bond as valid by directly comparing it to the sentiment of friendship he shares with Daniel. At the time of Ian’s abduction, Geoffrey did not yet know that he would eventually be forced to fight yet another war once he’d finally reach his home: at that point in the story, Geoffrey’s motives for taking Ian and Daniel as prisoners had little to do with him wanting to gain back the honour he now feels his father tore from him by ordering him to side with him against their king. The primary motivation for his disreputable conduct in chapters 4 to 10 was, in my opinion, grief.
Another thing that I find extremely interesting and that in a way contradicts what I mentioned above about Geoffrey not being able to tolerate the thought of having been friends with a criminal, is that once he starts to come to terms with the proof of Jerome’s misconduct…he never disavows their friendship. What he says once he finally accepts Ian as his friend and lets go of Jerome’s obsession is: “I did everything in my power to honour our friendship, going even beyond common sense”. He never tries to claim they were never really friends or proclaim he wants to cut all ties with such a man. And towards the end of book 3, when Geoffrey and Ian are discussing what Ian’s exile really implicates and Ian is finally forced to admit he never was Jean de Ponthieu, Geoffrey all of a sudden brings Derangale into their conversation to reflect on how Jerome was right all along and how happy he is to learn that he at least did not lie to him about this one specific thing. Well, maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I was expecting him to focus on the sheer amount of lies he had been fed by…you know, Ian, the friend who happens to be alive and whom he is currently confronting. He does not even seem interested in asking Ian to explain himself, it is Ian who apologises to him, completely unprompted. They were having a conversation about Philippe Auguste and Guillaume de Ponthieu wielding the power to destroy his life, and after several beats of silence and intense consideration, what Geoffrey decided to say out loud was “I’m happy Jerome didn’t lie to me about you”? Ummmmmmm ok??????????? Lying to him certainly was not the worst thing Jerome has ever done? What about the many crimes he committed against Ian, his friends and his family? What I’m trying to say here is that Daniel’s argument about Geoffrey having been manipulated by Jerome must have cut deep, since here he is, bringing this up again. Derangale died more than two years ago, and Geoffrey already gave up on trying to redeem his honour and reputation, but he appears to be still in the middle of the process of learning to truly let him go. Dealing with the idea of having been deceived in such a cold way by a close friend to whom he though he owed unwavering loyalty is proving to be challenging. I might be delusional but I can only make sense of the fact Geoffrey brought Jerome into their conversation about Ian only to briefly touch on a strictly personal matter that concerned his own feelings and his private relationship with Ian’s old archenemy if I assume Geoffrey was, at this point in time, still dealing with some very intense and complicated feelings (….furthermore…………it doesn’t…really…make sense…for Geoffrey to be happy about Jerome telling him that Ian’s identity was a hoax…since the whole point of telling him that…was getting his help in destroying Ian and not really “being honest” with him…like…Geoffrey, love, why are you so desperately hanging on to these miniscule scraps of “““honest and genuine interactions”””, why do you still treasure this literal MICROSCOPIC CRUMB of “““sincerity””” on Jerome’s part…hello…………………???). Sorry but this whole Jerome/Geoffrey mess just exudes one-sided, unfulfilled and unacknowledged tenderness in copious amounts once you really start to read into it. My personal interpretation of the situation is that Geoffrey is having such a hard time trying to make sense of the extent of Derangale’s manipulation and condemning him as someone who was always undeserving of his friendship and devotion because he completely lacks the tools to properly analyse and interpret his own feelings on the matter.
2.2 Geoffrey and Ian vs Geoffrey and Jerome
I’m touching briefly on Ian and Geoffrey’s friendship dynamics in book 3 mainly because I think that their relationship will provide me with some good clues and parallels that could be of help in determining what Geoffrey was like when he was in Jerome’s company, since the third instalment in the series gives us such a wonderful and complete picture of the kind of friend Geoffrey is. Remember how Geoffrey immediately sided with Ian against Gant without asking for evidence against him and came to Ian’s rescue twice despite having very important businesses to attend to? Geoffrey has repeatedly shown that he has a tendency to be aggressively protective of his closest friends, to the point he has no problem resorting to extreme violence to ensure their safety (Ian, bleeding on the floor, gripping Geoffrey’s arm: “please tell me you took at least one of my assailants alive I’m going to need a witness???????” Geoffrey: “…” Ian: “…” The pile of corpses right behind them: “…” Geoffrey: “…sorry lol I kinda dealt with them in a bit of a heavy handed way” Ian: whimpers and collapses in his arms). Geoffrey’s attitude in regards to Ian’s enemies perfectly explains why he never had any qualms siding with Jerome against Ian despite the fact Derangale wasn’t telling him shit about the supposed evidence behind his outlandish claims. This is actually part of his regular pattern of behaviour: Geoffrey has consistently shown a thorough commitment towards undying trust and unconditional support through direct action. He might seem cold and aloof since he is never seen behave in an overtly friendly or approachable way when he is out in public (he also does not smile ONCE throughout the whole trilogy), but this right here is, in my opinion, a very affectionate man who is capable of forming true and intimate bonds with a handful of hand-picked men whose company he deeply treasures. Let’s talk about how Geoffrey U-turned at the speed of light to go back and help Ian corner Gant even though he was in the middle of carrying out an extremely important mission for Blanche of Castile. Let’s talk about how Derangale did not even have the time to fall to the ground after Ian delivered him the finishing blow, because Geoffrey literally teleported behind him to catch him, hoist him on his horse and take him to safety (let’s also talk about how Ian later found Derangale’s corpse among those of all the abandoned fallen soldiers the imperial army was not able to retrieve, and saw that his dead body had been laid on a shield with care, which means Geoffrey probably was the one responsible for preserving his dignity in death since we know for a fact he was there to hear Derangale’s last words and witness him die – I am literally about to start screaming please send help :)))))))). Do not let his grumpiness and harsh words fool you, Geoffrey is the most dedicated best friend another knight could ever ask for.
HOWEVER, the main difference between the two relationships I am comparing is that Geoffrey’s support of Ian is always unconditional, but never irrational in the same way his pursuit of revenge on Jerome’s behalf was, and at no point in the story does Geoffrey fail in evaluating Ian’s character or intentions. Furthermore, Ian’s gaslighting game was ON POINT in book 2, he was warping reality around Geoffrey like a damn magician, but Geoffrey never fully bought into his carefully crafted lies. And yet I am expected to believe that Derangale was such a skilled master manipulator he was able to conceal his true nature and agenda from Geoffrey for months? Hello??? PLEASE! Make it make sense!!! The ease with which Derangale was able to withold crucial information from him is extremely suspicious. Really? You mean to tell me Jerome Derangale had one of the least gullible people in the saga wrapped around his finger for years and never once slipped and misbehaved in front of him? Sorry I know at this point I must sound extremely redundant but Geoffrey’s selective blindness towards anything that concerns Derangale really is the weirdest thing ever, like, uh oh! Are you sure you didn’t catch any overly soft feelings for your bestie? So…I’m gonna say it: my theory on why Geoffrey’s behaviour was all over the place in the first chapters of book 2 is that he has always been completely unaware of the true nature and extent of his emotional attachment to Derangale, and this cluelessness of his contributed to worsening his already frustrated state. Furthermore, I also think Derangale must have noticed something was going on with Geoffrey and decided to use it to his advantage. Dude was a bit too confident, suspiciously confident in his ability to keep Geoffrey at his side without having to disclose any kind of compromising information.
In conclusion:
What I’m trying to say here is that I’m pretty convinced Geoffrey Martewall is not one of the straights. To sum all of this up, he:
-drinks astronomical amounts of his own extra strong brew of respect women juice on a daily basis
-has a tendency to get very attached to a few selected male friends who he then proceeds to protect with everything he has
-never noticed his old friend (👀) was lying to him, acted in a very out of character and erratic way for a while after his old friend’s (👀👀) death and was ready to commit actual crimes in an attempt to honour his old friend’s (👀👀👀) memory.
So. Yeah. The bi vibes are there. I would rather die than give up my Clueless Bisexual King Geoffrey Martewall headcanons! Sorry but a straight Geoffrey would make zero sense to me. Your honour can’t you see!!! this guy is WAY too cool not to be bi!!!
I rest my case.
P.S. I cannot BELIEVE I’m actually posting this monster on the day of the anniversary of the battle of Bouvines??? I swear I didn’t do it on purpose, at first I was really annoyed at the fact that putting this together was taking me weeks but then yesterday while I was editing I realized I would eventually be able to publish this on the very day Derangale died and Geoffrey was taken prisoner :’’) Perfect timing am I right?
#I love....Geoffrey Martewall...so fucking much i literallyhschbcbg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#He!!!!!!! HNGGGGG#also this is probably full of mistakes and typos and whatnot but i don't care at this point i just want to get my point across#and my point is that Geoffrey has to be bi and i am . right#haha ooops my Jerome/Geoffrey agenda is finally out in the open for everyone to see haha ooooooopppppp#anyway i've never posted anything this long before#Geoffrey was worth every single word I spent talking abt him tho#hyperversum#I'm tired I'm going to bed now byeeeeee#Geoffrey Martewall#Jerome Derangale#Ian Maayrkas
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Gambit
Gambit (Remy Etienne LeBeau) is a fictional character appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics, commonly in association with the X-Men. The character was created by writer Chris Claremont and artist Jim Lee. Drawn by artist Mike Collins, Gambit made his first appearances in Uncanny X-Men Annual #14 (July 1990) and Uncanny X-Men #266 (August 1990).
Gambit belongs to a subspecies of humans called mutants, who are born with superhuman abilities. Gambit has the ability to mentally create, control, and manipulate pure kinetic energy to his desire. He is also incredibly knowledgeable and skilled in card throwing, hand-to-hand combat, and the use of a bō staff. Gambit is known to charge playing cards and other objects with kinetic energy, using them as explosive projectiles.
He was part of a thieves' guild before becoming a member of the X-Men. Given his history, few X-Men trusted Gambit when he joined the group. There was consistently a source of stress between him and his on-again, off-again love interest and eventual wife Rogue. This was exacerbated when Gambit's connections to villain Mister Sinister were revealed, although some of his team members accept that Gambit honestly seeks redemption. Often portrayed as a "ladies' man," Gambit has shown a more vulnerable side of himself over the years, especially when it comes to Rogue. Gambit remains fiercely proud of his Louisiana heritage and speaks in a Cajun accent.
Since his debut, Gambit has appeared in several solo series. As of 2013, there have been three attempts at an ongoing title starring the character. Gambit has also had two miniseries and starred prominently in Gambit & the X-Ternals, the X-Force replacement title during the Age of Apocalypse. Gambit was ranked 65th on IGN's "Top 100 Comic Book Heroes of All Time" stating that "Gambit is just the sort of tortured soul that X-readers love, and his continued presence in the TV and movie spinoffs cements his status as one of the greats," and in 2013, ComicsAlliance ranked Gambit as #4 on their list of the "50 Sexiest Male Characters in Comics". He has been featured in several animated series and video games based on the X-Men. Although he did not appear in the first three X-Men films, Gambit appeared on screen in the 2009 film X-Men Origins: Wolverine, portrayed by Taylor Kitsch.
> Powers and abilities
Gambit is a mutant with the ability to convert the potential energy stored in an inanimate object into pure light kinetic energy, thus "charging" that item with highly explosive results. He prefers to charge smaller objects, such as his ever-present playing cards, as the time required to charge them is greatly reduced and they are much easier for him to throw. The only real limitation to this ability is the time required to charge the object: the larger it is the more time it takes to charge. Most charging takes place through direct skin contact. The power of his explosions is dependent on the mass of the object he is charging: for example, a charged playing card explodes with the force of a grenade. Gambit can also use his mutant abilities to accelerate an object's kinetic energy instead of converting its potential energy; for example, he can charge his Bo staff with enough kinetic energy and power to level a house.
Gambit's ability to tap into kinetic energy also grants him incredible superhuman physical attributes (strength, speed, reflexes and reactions, agility, flexibility, dexterity, coordination, balance, and endurance), as his body constantly generates bio-kinetic energy and so is perfectly constructed for constant motion. This gives him an added edge that he has used to his advantage by developing a unique acrobatic fighting style.
The charged potential energy always in his body grants him the ability to build up charges of static electricity, and shields his mind from detection and intrusion by even the strongest and most powerful telepaths such as Emma Frost, Jean Grey, and even Charles Xavier. The shield has the added effect of destabilizing touch-based abilities.
Gambit also possesses an unusually strong and irresistible hypnotic charm that allows him to exert a subtle influence over sentient beings, leading them to believe what he says and agree with his suggestions. This charm is so strong and powerful that if given a chance, Gambit could even charm the Shadow King himself. The hypnotic charm does not work on those who know about it.
During combat, Gambit customarily wears a suit of highly articulated light body armor and uses an extendable metal staff. He is extensively trained in martial arts, particularly Savate and the staff style art Bōjutsu. He is an excellent hand-to-hand combatant, applying street-fighting techniques and acrobatics. Gambit is a skilled card-thrower, so he throws his charged playing cards at opponents with great accuracy. He also excels in all aspects of thievery, as he was adopted by the patriarch of a Thieves Guild.
Gambit was temporarily given the full strength and potential of his mutant abilities to battle his counterpart, New Son. At his full strength and power, Gambit can control all aspects of kinetic energy down even to the molecular level, allowing him to manipulate the potency of his bio-kinetic energy to burn, cause molecular discomfort, incinerate, create timed detonations (and manipulate the potency of the energy release), fire energy blasts, defy gravity, heal wounds, charge objects within his line of sight without contact, manipulate the flow of time & space and effectively exist as an energy being. Under such conditions, he holds sufficient power to cause another being to be unable to move—or unable to stop if in motion. He has been able to cause or simulate various energies by manipulating the kinetic energy present, such as infrared and microwaves, by increasing molecular agitation, or cold by reducing it. He was also able to use his powers to travel through space-time, cross dimensions, and remake realities outside of space-time by transforming himself into living energy which joined with the kinetic flow. Finally, Gambit was able to heal himself by stimulating his cellular activity. These enhanced powers were burnt out after fighting New Son, and Gambit has since returned to his original, somewhat lower power levels.
However, after Sage jump-started his powers again, he was able to heal his blinded eyes. —thus implying he is again able to heal himself—and is also able again to charge living things with energy, as when he teamed up with Sebastian Shaw to destroy Mr. Sinister's machines. He was also given another boost when he was killed in an altercation with a drug lord and Faiza Hussain managed to restore him before it set in, enabling him to charge a bullet with twice as much explosive force than usual. He has later proven able to delay his explosions again, although this is difficult for him to accomplish.
After Apocalypse used the Celestial Technology to transform Gambit into the Horseman Death, Gambit demonstrates the ability to convert inert materials into toxic substances (such as transforming breathable air into poisonous gases) and has the potential to ingest diseases and plagues. It is apparent that the Celestial Technology never left his system, as seen during a telepathic attack against him that temporarily brought out the Death persona, which eventually killed the attacker. He also showcased new abilities he had not used before in this form – such as his Death Charge, which fueled his projectiles with dark energies that have the effect of either disintegrating or entrapping beings within his cards. His new transformation also affords him the ability to control the trajectory in which the thrown cards fly in, giving him more control over their vector path while in motion. He could also convert people to his mindset like he did with Northstar, Dazzler and several demons while in limbo. Gambit's body did subsequently return to normal, suggesting that Gambit now has the ability to switch between his own and Death appearances.
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Final Fantasy XIVwrite Day 9 - Lush
Adi condemned Etienne once: "You and Telesphore have a lot in common."
Etienne countered, "How so? You said he makes things grow. I destroy them."
"He makes things grow in the direction he wants them to, no more or less. That is not the same as letting things grow."
~~
It's true - for decades, Etienne over-gardened their mindset.
Every thought was a rose bush that needed trimming. A topiary that required a full sculpt. Hedges in a maze that could lead to only one place. And yet, for all their care, the plants were brown and dying.
They were trying too hard to force things.
Marriage and an engagement - to men who were "a good match, a good (future) father, perfect on paper."
Dancing, but only privately.
Smiling, but only privately.
Death is beautiful in its own way, and decay is inevitable. Everything has their season. But Etienne was choking the their heart, and it was withering.
They were choking their relationships, too.
Now, the place is wild-growing chaos. Here is Adi's section, full of jumping little bugs and mushrooms and root vegetables, and Milloux's, with every flower violet. Other sections are full of golds and oranges, and white and pink, and the tall, rough grass of the Steppe.
It is green and wild. Not overwhelming, not yet at least. It is lush, and for now, it is watered and healthy.
~~
"You don't think very highly of me, do you Adi?"
"I just know what it is like... people who are controlling."
"I'm not saying you need to be sympathetic to our father," Etienne says quietly, "But sometimes a need for control comes out of a great self-loathing. And... if you were to think of it that way..." They take a long breath, then look at their brother. "I think you'd realize you're like him too."
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On possible post-grad options for Max
To this day, I am still not over that one ml fanfiction set x years later I saw a few years back, where Max is said to have attended l’X.
Edit: just realized some of you might not know this, what I call “l’X” is the Ecole Polytechnique, but everyone calls it “l’X”
Like, no. I mean, I get the reasoning, because it IS one of the best-classed “grande école” in France, and it IS true max would probably go the prépa then grande école route rather than simply university, but.
You all must know that X is a military school. When you enter it, you sign a 10-year contract with the French army, and it is meant to produce military engineers. Yes, many alumni get their contract bought by private corporations after their four years of schooling are complete, but X students go through an (admittedly watered down) military training. (Yes, French military people, I KNOW that compared to the actual military, X has very low discipline and physical standard, but on the civilian scale it’s still a lot). Which means both physical education and discipline. Like all military spaces, it’s not a good place for expressing yourself, and some students (especially the precocious geniuses, who tend to be quirky by nature) just can’t handle the atmosphere, regardless of their academic skills. In my very personal opinion, Max would NOT thrive in such an environment, and probably would not even WANT to subject himself to this kind of conformity.
However, know that the ENS Ulm is as prestigious as l’Ecole Polytechnique, and the other three (four, counting Pizza) ENS(s?) only slightly less, AND they are not military. (I mean, you still sign a contract with the state, but it’s as a civil servant, and only if you come via the entrance exam, which is not the only way in). It is a school centered on making students into researchers and teachers. I can’t speak for Ulm in particular, and it might be a bit different because Ulm is special even among the four (five) ENS(s?), but the general ENS mindset is one of curiosity and progress, and there is a lot of room for student to be themselves (arts club, sports club, parties, and the simple fact that no one bats an eyes at your dyed hair or your Metal looks, hell, I once went to school disguised as Batgirl and it wasn’t even carnival or Halloween)
BUT, if you want him to become an engineer, ENS is not the right pick, because it is not, in fact, an engineering school. If you’re looking for super prestigious engineering schools where the kid geniuses who had the BAC at 15 went, I suggest the group of “Centrale” schools (Paris, in particular, though all Centrale schools are prestigious), the group of “Mines” Schools (once again, especially Paris, and note that Mines Saint-Etienne is kinda-sorta military, I’m not 100% what’s happening over there but there's a thing) and the “Ponts” school, which is kinda-sorta in cahoots with Centrale, but I was only ever interested in the ENS so I never paid attention to the hows and whys.
ALTHOUGH you should also note that all of those schools are generalist, and if you want to become an engineer in a very specific domain you need to go to specific schools which are less prestigious because they are specific and thus interest fewer people.
#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#max kante#french education#note that i am an ENS student and hence probably biaised#but still#do keep in mind that X is military#also note that I'm only speaking of prestige#the value of your education is not necessarily linked to the prestige of your school#especially when it comes to engineering schools#BUT young prodigies like what Max is the typos of tend to favor those schools#because they usually don't have a specific project yet and being generalist schools they keep more doors open than specialist schools#like the school of wood engineering is great#but only if you know you want to work on wood engineering#although max DOES have one specific interest#which is AIs#so he mights end up going for computer science#but then again he also seems to like math and physics a lot#personally I think he's more of a research type than an engineer type#which is why I hc him going to Ulm#but he did build markov#which is engineering as much as it is computer science
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Animal Familiar- Vivica Leclair
~ Manta Ray ~
This sea creature, though a lesser known familiar, has its own unique beauty to it. It glides gracefully through the ocean with the impression of flying, its journey unfazed by most of its environment. In a similar way, you take things in life as they come, and understand that the future is still to come, and that the past is left behind. You are very careful with your actions and words, living a balanced life and understanding your own goals and personality.
A Manta Ray familiar keeps their master's mindset and priorities in check, and helps them remain calm in any situation.
~~***~~
This familiar represents
-Balance
-Peacefulness
-Taking life as it comes
-Grace
-Understanding
-Being sure of yourself
-Carefulness
Take Quiz HERE~
Tagging: @andarion, @claihn, @lamarafray, @fair-fae, @derelict-noctis, @enambris, @sylastair, @zack-leingod, @lordofcrowns, @season-of-maha, @gildedhilt, @glowinggunmetal, @snowandsaints, @fairwindsandblueskies, @elegant-etienne
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Why do you hurt?
Because you cannot hold freedom
the sky is only air. the ocean is only water. the only freedom you will ever have is breathing, drawing this air again & again & again & again. You have to exhale, and it costs you something - you have to quench your thirst and it comes back again - there is nothing solid in being free, it is not a status to be achieved but an action to do. Free is an active status, and you worry you'll somehow forget. there are people who would control you. there are orders you could obey. you keep coming back to take this next breath, your own part of the forever-freedom of the sky, but sometimes you think to hold your breath. it is deceptively peaceful underwater. you don't know if you would notice it if you started drowning.
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📚 If your OC was given some kind of forbiddon knowledge, what would they do with it? Would they tell anyone? Use it for evil or good? How would it change their outlook on life, if at all? (For Eti) ; 🔪 Has your OC ever killed someone? Ever had to defend themselves against violence? How did this make them feel? Or, alternatively, has your OC ever attacked someone? Seen someone die? (For Adi)
༓・*.☽25 OC QUESTIONS☾.*・༓
Thank you for the ask, @atomicdeke! I’m going to discuss some character “spoilers” here so this is going behind a cut.
📚
Etienne has some relatively forbidden knowledge, in that they learned a black magic spell that they’ve put to practice (though it nearly killed them), and they are also knowledgeable about some necromancy-adjacent, transfer-people’s-souls-from-their-bodies-into-other-bodies-or-golems shite that they researched for the sake of their ex-husband.
It did change their life to obtain that knowledge because they realized that when it came down to it, if given a sufficient enough reason, they would indeed do things they found morally reprehensible if sufficiently manipulated (“for the sake of love”). And once you learn how to do something you can’t unlearn it - and Etienne has used black magic in the past, and feels haunted by the knowledge that they are capable of making a choice - of sacrificing their own life or taking justice into their hands - and use extremely dangerous magic to do so. It’s easy to rely on powerful magic and damn the consequences, and they try to avoid situations that tempt them so.
Etienne realized if they’re willing to do compromise their morals or do unethical things, then anyone is willing to do that, even the people they love and trust implicitly. This has both given them a large measure of sympathy for people who bite off more than they can chew, but has also pushed their already-cautious mindset into outright conservatism about any technology or magic they believe would prove a temptation for such hubris and abuse.
While they have told others they’ve cast black magic to dire personal effect, they are very quiet about the other things they know,. They think it’s better if people aren’t aware of the cope of their knowledge, otherwise, they might try and get Etienne to use it.
🔪
Adi has never killed anyone. He’s lost patients that were too far to save, but he wouldn’t count that. He has watched several relatives, including his mother, succumb to illness when they got to the point his conjury could do nothing for them. His feelings of grief are complicated and mixed, as most of his family was unkind to him, and even his mother had high expectations for him that he constantly felt he never came through on.
Adi has never defended himself against violence. Aside from the massive power imbalance there was when his mistreatment began, he is actually not able to take actions that are harmful for others. When he says, “I can’t fight, I can’t harm others,” he means it literally, though he tends to frame it philosophically because he knows no other way to live. The most offensive he can get is to cast protection spells. He’s a pure heals build for Reasons.
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